Meet the Students
Stephanie, Senior
I can remember when I first arrived on campus as a Freshman. My daddy owns an oil
company in Texas and naturally because I am so cute, he loves to spoil me. So, I thought I was really good at throwing tantrums to get what I wanted. I would go to a mall and buy a few things and that was it. Boy, was I naïve! Now, with the skills I learned at CBH I got a brand new Benz, a closet full of mink coats, and more jewelry than I can wear in a month. It’s so important for poor people to have someone to look up to so they can forget about their dreary lives and I strive to be as ostentatious as possible. If you got it, flaunt it so I really do. I wouldn’t trade my time at CBH for anything—well, maybe a penthouse in NYC—hahaha.
Brock, Freshman
This has been a big change for me. In high school I was the richest kid and had all the little ho’s throwing themselves at me. And, driving a Porsche 911 was cool, too. Now, after starting at CBH, I have discovered a whole new lifestyle. One that is much more important than partying at my parents mansion while they were in Europe. Now, I go out to the hottest nightclubs and think nothing of spending $5,000 on VIP lounge and bottle service—and I am not even 21 yet! Plus, those high school ho’s ain’t got nothin’ on the professional hookers I party with now. It’s a fabulous life but if your parents are rich and they like spoiling you, it can all be yours too.
Michelina, Junior
Ever since I was a little girl growing up in Russia I dreamed of coming to Beverly Hills. My dad somehow managed to own a big bank in Moscow since he was involved with a
bunch of black marketers. Anyway, I lived like a princess in Moscow but realized that in order to spend money with the best women around the world, I needed to get educated here. Normally, CBH doesn’t accept very many foreigners but because my daddy donated a bunch of money, they accepted me! Now, I am looking forward to graduating next year. I can’t wait to participate in the traditional senior orgy day and Spring break in Ibiza. My best memory so far was a field trip to the ghetto that we took for my “You are better than 99% of the world” class. It really brought home how poor people are so stupid for living like that.
Stephanie, Brock, and Michelina have made it a priority to educate themselves on how to live the ultimate life of the idle rich. If this sounds good to you, we invite you to submit an application to the College of Beverly Hills.
Students anxiously await the Class of 2007 graduation speaker, Paris Hilton.
