Welcome!
The College of Beverly Hills is fully credited with educating our students in the finest tradition of learning and teaching. Recognized by a number of institutions throughout the world, we are on the cutting edge of the university experience.
We hope you'll take the time to read through all of the content on our website. Once you've familiarized yourself with who we are and our offerings, we invite you to come for a personal tour. Our beautiful campus is located just off Interstate 409 on Lostidahl Boulevard.
Mission
Inspired by the American superficial shopping addiction, the College of Beverly Hills educates students to be irresponsible spoiled brats who think only of themselves, act like egotistical snobs, and spend without regard to consequences.
Vision
We seek to be a recognized leader in shopping education that excels in effective teaching, active snobbery, bogus attitudes, and irresponsible engagement with local malls and department stores as well as with the designer boutiques and overpriced salons that we love.
Convictions
As a bastion of snobbery we are committed to:
Pursuit of pleasure
We value hedonism as a life-long habit, the unfettered and impartial pursuit of sensual delight in all its forms, the integration of sec and drugs across disciplines, and the imaginative and creative exploration of new pursuits of pleasure.
Shopping excellence
We create a culture among faculty, students and staff that recognizes the power of credit cards and rewards rigorous overspending.
Dignity
We respect the dignity of all filthy rich people and value the unique contributions that they bring to looking down our noses at the poor people that infest society outside of the hallowed grounds of the college.
Diversity
We strive to create a vibrant diverse community inclusive of all races as long as they have money to burn, a desire to have a good time at the expense of others, a reckless disregard for authority, and a willingness to shop all day and party all night.
Personal attention
We foster a caring culture that supports the sexual gratification of each member.
Campus Life
Students listen intently to a lecture on how to calculate the cost of nightclub VIP bottle service.
Hostile Hall - oldest building on the College of Beverly Hills campus.
Typical dorm room accomodations. All dorms come with daily housekeeping and 24/7 room service.
The shopping district of Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills is the obvious place where students spend most of their time.
You'll need plenty of money and a decent car to fit in with the students at the College of Beverly Hills!
Apply Today!
